I had coffee with my friend Erica this morning. Erica has wanted to be a mommy her entire life. She has been very supportive of me and my decision, although today she was a bit perplexed when she found out how happy I am that I don't have this thing that was, a week and a half ago, growing inside my belly. She thought I would be sad, despite being sure of my decision. I do have littlebittyeensytiny flickers when I think about this thing that would have been part me, but only when I think of an alternate universe in which I'm also a farmer's wife on the prairie, churning butter and picking daisies.
Erica cooed and ahhed over the very new little one that belonged to the owner of the coffee shop, while I stood admiring the bundle of joy and being overwhelmingly glad that she wasn't mine.
Now I'm going to fill my belly with ravioli and soy sausage.