right? Right? I remember the get-this-thing-outta-me-right-now feeling. I remember it well. But I did learn to adore a child recently. Her name is Clara and I babysat for her all spring, summer and early fall. She is smart, creative and charming. I suppose it doesn't really matter who or what she is, because I realized that I can love a little one. Wait--back up a minute. This girl?
Here's what I really realized: that there is a big part of me that is Career Oriented. And that part of me wants my independence for-eva. But the soft part of me wants to know the love a mother has for her baby, because I know it's bigger than anything I've ever known. I don't regret my decision to have an abortion for one second. I would do it again in a heartbeat. But maybe someday...when I'm 35 or something....I'll ruin my flat stomach and my size 7 1/2 feet so that I can love in a new way.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Happy Abortionersary to me.
I passed my Abortionersary and didn't even notice!
Occasionally my boyfriend or I will say, Remember when you/I was pregnant? It's usually me. And he's usually forgotten that it happened. Oh, yeah, he'll say. That was crazy, huh?
I believe this is a good thing. Our relationship was not damaged by that detour. The only mark it has left is my lack of yearning for a baby.
Not even my friend's beautiful, charming 3 year old gets my ovaries a-pumping.
There is a truly great quote that sums up the experience. It was a comment on my last posting.
Thanks, commenter.
No woman wants an abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as an animal caught in a trap wants to gnaw off its own leg. ~Frederica Mathewes-Green
Damn right.
Happy Anniversary of freedom, Eve. Happy Anniversary of my choice.
Occasionally my boyfriend or I will say, Remember when you/I was pregnant? It's usually me. And he's usually forgotten that it happened. Oh, yeah, he'll say. That was crazy, huh?
I believe this is a good thing. Our relationship was not damaged by that detour. The only mark it has left is my lack of yearning for a baby.
Not even my friend's beautiful, charming 3 year old gets my ovaries a-pumping.
There is a truly great quote that sums up the experience. It was a comment on my last posting.
Thanks, commenter.
No woman wants an abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as an animal caught in a trap wants to gnaw off its own leg. ~Frederica Mathewes-Green
Damn right.
Happy Anniversary of freedom, Eve. Happy Anniversary of my choice.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
The Other Side
I think it's important that everyone with an opinion is able to express that opinion (keeping in mind that the line between expression and harassment needs to be considered). In that spirit, I am publishing two comments on my last entry that were sent to me this morning. I believe the sender didn't realize that I have control over the postings and so tried to post the second when the first didn't go through.
Since I am involved in the battle over abortion only through my experience and not on the front lines, I forget, on a day to day basis, that those who are strongly opposed exist (I find the comments slightly amusing, I must admit... cliched, really... I mean they're just so general...not specific to me at all... but not everyone's a writer... not even myself, if I'm being honest....).
So here ya go, person. It's your right to speak.
Since I am involved in the battle over abortion only through my experience and not on the front lines, I forget, on a day to day basis, that those who are strongly opposed exist (I find the comments slightly amusing, I must admit... cliched, really... I mean they're just so general...not specific to me at all... but not everyone's a writer... not even myself, if I'm being honest....).
So here ya go, person. It's your right to speak.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Mirena, Mirena
Here's the breakdown:
Bled for a couple of days. Stopped bleeding until my period, which was only a day late. Have been bleeding moderately since, which has been two weeks now. It was never heavy. My clinician said I may bleed on and off for a couple of months, but it should eventually become much lighter and infrequent and may even stop on a semi-permanent basis. Which she said she was initially not a fan of, but she realized that back in the day women didn't have their periods nearly as much as we do now, because they were having babies and nursing for a large period (haha) of the time. So perhaps it's not a bad thing to give one's body a break. I've been menstruating for 13 years straight (with a quick pregnancy break). I'm ready to ease up. Especially since I became borderline anemic because I've been bleeding so much over the past nine months.
On a related note:
If I hadn't gotten the abortion I'd have a two month old.
Thank you, Planned Parenthood.
Wow. That made me slightly sad. But that's nothing compared to the relief I still feel.
Bled for a couple of days. Stopped bleeding until my period, which was only a day late. Have been bleeding moderately since, which has been two weeks now. It was never heavy. My clinician said I may bleed on and off for a couple of months, but it should eventually become much lighter and infrequent and may even stop on a semi-permanent basis. Which she said she was initially not a fan of, but she realized that back in the day women didn't have their periods nearly as much as we do now, because they were having babies and nursing for a large period (haha) of the time. So perhaps it's not a bad thing to give one's body a break. I've been menstruating for 13 years straight (with a quick pregnancy break). I'm ready to ease up. Especially since I became borderline anemic because I've been bleeding so much over the past nine months.
On a related note:
If I hadn't gotten the abortion I'd have a two month old.
Thank you, Planned Parenthood.
Wow. That made me slightly sad. But that's nothing compared to the relief I still feel.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
In With the New
A Mirena is now inside my uterus.
This happened yesterday. I was pretty worried 'cause of the massive amounts of pain I went through getting the Paraguard, especially the horrid cramping well into the night.
This one was a breeze, comparatively. It was no picnic, to be sure. There are certain kinds of pain that are worse than others, and having my cervix cracked open is one of my least favorites. But it was over quickly and the only drawback was that my pulse was low, so I was nauseated and they had to keep me horizontal for a while. My clinician said that it was probably easier because since she took my Paraguard out (which wasn't bad at all), my cervix was more relaxed than it would have been.
I had a little cramping last night and this morning, but very mild.
Apparently it's likely that I'll have spotting for 2-3 months, but they really can't give me an idea of how this will effect me. It's different for everyone.
I like the ladies at this Planned Parenthood. They're down to earth and supercool. My clinician is a roller derby girl.
This happened yesterday. I was pretty worried 'cause of the massive amounts of pain I went through getting the Paraguard, especially the horrid cramping well into the night.
This one was a breeze, comparatively. It was no picnic, to be sure. There are certain kinds of pain that are worse than others, and having my cervix cracked open is one of my least favorites. But it was over quickly and the only drawback was that my pulse was low, so I was nauseated and they had to keep me horizontal for a while. My clinician said that it was probably easier because since she took my Paraguard out (which wasn't bad at all), my cervix was more relaxed than it would have been.
I had a little cramping last night and this morning, but very mild.
Apparently it's likely that I'll have spotting for 2-3 months, but they really can't give me an idea of how this will effect me. It's different for everyone.
I like the ladies at this Planned Parenthood. They're down to earth and supercool. My clinician is a roller derby girl.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Goddamn Catholic Hospital Sons of Bitches
I'm so angry right now I can barely see straight. My friend had a panic attack last night and made the unintentional mistake of going to a Catholic hospital, where they kept her for twelve hours, refused to give her medication, tried to convince her not to have an abortion and threatened to send her to a psychiatric hospital. She went in for a panic attack. It's not like she went in and said, hey priest, give me an abortion!
She said it was the worst night of her life.
There has to be something she can do. I know right now she just needs to take care of herself, but I am so furious and just want to DO SOMETHING. Like wring their fucking necks.
How can this be legal? How can they sleep at night?
And what can we do?
She said it was the worst night of her life.
There has to be something she can do. I know right now she just needs to take care of herself, but I am so furious and just want to DO SOMETHING. Like wring their fucking necks.
How can this be legal? How can they sleep at night?
And what can we do?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
1 out of 3 is you
Hey girl,
Of course, of course I'm not angry!
I wish you didn't have to go through this. I know your body is even more sensitive than mine, so I know you'll feel the changes that happen so quickly even more acutely. Our hips wanna pop out some kids, I guess!
I find it interesting that I never even asked if you were keeping it and you never brought up that possibility. We have so much stuff we need to do-- that we are meant to do--before we consider care of little ones (besides my cat).
If you want me to come with you I will. Having you there during my procedure meant the world to me.
Call me whenever. Tell me it sucks as many times as you want.
Dude. You're gonna be okay. Look at me! I'm fine. And it brought me and my boyfriend even closer together and I bet it will do the same for you. And ya know, as much as it sucked, I wouldn't take back any of it--although I will do everything in my power to prevent its happening again. It's one more experience we have to draw from. That's what this crazy life thing is all about; that's what we do.
Also, another plus for the surgical option is that you can now have an IUD put in right away (they started doing that just a couple of months after my abortion).
Let's have a fantastic vegan brunch tomorrow.
Love,
Eve
Of course, of course I'm not angry!
I wish you didn't have to go through this. I know your body is even more sensitive than mine, so I know you'll feel the changes that happen so quickly even more acutely. Our hips wanna pop out some kids, I guess!
I find it interesting that I never even asked if you were keeping it and you never brought up that possibility. We have so much stuff we need to do-- that we are meant to do--before we consider care of little ones (besides my cat).
If you want me to come with you I will. Having you there during my procedure meant the world to me.
Call me whenever. Tell me it sucks as many times as you want.
Dude. You're gonna be okay. Look at me! I'm fine. And it brought me and my boyfriend even closer together and I bet it will do the same for you. And ya know, as much as it sucked, I wouldn't take back any of it--although I will do everything in my power to prevent its happening again. It's one more experience we have to draw from. That's what this crazy life thing is all about; that's what we do.
Also, another plus for the surgical option is that you can now have an IUD put in right away (they started doing that just a couple of months after my abortion).
Let's have a fantastic vegan brunch tomorrow.
Love,
Eve
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