Joy to the World

My period has come!
I threw my fist into the air with a throaty "yes--yes!" as I looked into the toilet exactly a week after the due date.
I am going to try to go sans ibuprofen to really test the effects of the acupuncture thus far. My period usually gets really heavy and incredibly painful around day 3 or 4, so we'll see how that goes. I never thought my old 6 day cycle would seem like a relief, but I would welcome it back with open arms at this point. I'm sick of this 8-12 day business. Acupuncture is my last try before resorting to the Mirena. You hear that, Paraguard? You're gonna be toast if you don't wise up, buddy.

In case you're just tuning in....

I had an abortion in April. I got an IUD because I never want to have an abortion again but want to practice baby-making. My period is currently 5 days late. I'm not pregnant. Unless God is messing with me.

Take 2

5 days late. I figured it was time to get another pregnancy test. I went to the nearest Walgreens and found the tests locked up. That's pretty shitty, Walgreens. The last thing I wanted to do was go ask someone to unlock the pregnancy tests. And the very nice girl behind the photo counter just had to repeat "pregnancy test?" after I asked (that's not something that needs repeating, lady), and told me that she asked her doctor for one 'cause she was paying $25 for the appointment anyway.
But Jesus spoke through the CLEARBLUE. I like that brand, by the way. Clear, as advertised. And Not Pregnant.
So WTF is going on with my period? Can the acupuncture really be messing with it this much? It's not supposed to make it later. It's supposed to make it shorter.

I have one more test for later just in case.

The Scare

My period is two days late. I'm normally as regular as clockwork. So I took a test this morning. And I finally got the 'NOT PREGNANT' I was looking so hard for all those months ago. The heart beating through my chest was the same. The trying not to look while it's flashing but glancing every other second was the same.
I recently started acupuncture to shorten my periods and help the cramping. I don't want to rely on 800mg of ibuprofen every 6 hours. So this is my last resort before I switch to the Mirena. Which I would rather not do. But I've been so tired all the time and my acupuncturist thinks it might be because my body is putting out so much. Literally. I've been excited to find out if it's helping. But no luck as of yet. I don't even want sex, which is out of character for me. I think-- I hope it was because of the scare. I hope that tonight is different, because I hate laying next to my boyfriend and not wanting him.